Today, we couldn't put in P2, for the police station couldn't afford it. Sorry!

Local Drunkard-artist arrested P1

Local drunk Seamus F. O'Reilly, was looking for a job when he saw: "Artist". He thanked his copy of "The Kitty City Gazette". His cousin, Ramona, lived in Kitty City, and sent him old copies that she hadn't urinated on. Seamus went to the Kitty City "NEWS JOB" building. The "NEWS JOB" building, is a place where you get jobs from news ads. Seamus had to paint an audition painting. He painted "Invisible Cheezburger". He won the job. His first masterpiece was painted drunk. It was called "Phsyco Viking Mario Riding My Brother". He got arrested for being drunk and painting.

More news tomorow...

Local citizen makes pirated NES games

Local cat Ozzie C. At, was caught pirating old Nintendo NES games. He was doing Super Mario Bros. at the time. He had files and instructions on his iPhone 3G. Even his to-do list said "Bootleg NES/Wii/Gamecube/Game boy games. Sell. Title: "Oz's Games! All your Nintendo favs! Eat pie." Eat pie? We don't know. We're sure the judge will find out. He was also pirating CD's and DVD's. DVD company was "DIC" and the CD's were "Aerosmith","U2" and "AC/DC". "I did what any cat would do," said Oz in court. "You, my judge and friend, STOLE MCDOMESTICS GOOD - GOOD - GOOD FRIEZ!!!" The judge put his head in hands and started sobbing.
More on this tommorow...