Cat gets fired

Monday, March 30
Local cat Snoops, got fired yesterday do to a lack of work. Snoops, interviewed at home said it was "odd" even though his neighbor/ X-Coworker Abbie said "It was unsurprising, considering all he does is lie around and scratch his butt. If he's not doing that, he's napping." Snoops never answered any phone calls for auditions. He worked at Ta-Da! Productions. "It wasn't fair! He'll regret it." commented Snoops uneasily on the word regret. The Boss (of Snoops' work) has received about 457 pleading notes. More mews tommorow...

Cat Gets Knocked Out By Tennis Ball

Local cats Hobbes and Milo were on vacation in Kittyville playing tennis. Milo felt more like playing badminton, because Hobbes was to clumsy to serve. "I kept showing him how to do it, but after a while, he had fallen down as many times as a cat with sneakers! By the way, what are sneakers?" Commented and questioned Milo. Hobbes said his 1st tennis game on TV (ESPN Extreme Shorthairs Possibly Neutered) was "Inspirational" and he wanted to play, whereas Milo just wanted to do something after 20 minutes of a cat falling down after trying to serve a tennis ball. Milo thought about doing what his cousin Madison did. Lock Hobbes in a cabinet. Whereas here, it would be a locker. Or a duffel bag. Hobbes finally did serve a ball, but of course Milo wasn't looking. (I mean, how many hundred times can you see a cat fall down and not get bored after 45 minutes.) So the ball hit him in the head. He fell over. Hobbes at first thought "Oh he's just unconscious... UNCONSCIOUS?!?!?!?!!?" then thought, "Maybe he was surprised I served one." Police have found the tennis ball. They have discovered it is a Wilson 2 Tennis Ball.


Tennis Ball

Officers Snoops K. Itten and Ozzie C.at along with Lokey and Abbie arrived at the scene at 3:17 PM. Milo was distracted by YouTube: Build your own Sponge bob. His YouTube history was way above his age. Hobbes, a Script Editor of "Ta-Da! Productions", said it was "fascinating" to see a cat go down by just getting hit by a 567 mph tennis ball in the head. A crowd gathered around and someone asked if he was a cat or a tiger? Obviously a reader of "Calvin and Hobbes". Hobbes felt insulted and we are comforting him by yelling "Your books are great, but we could live without them BILL WATTERSON!!!!" "Ok, probably not the best way to comfort him, but he grinned. Milo was fine in the end. Hobbes has agreed to be a badminton champ instead of tennis. We will now have honorary "No Tennis" day, dedicated to Milo.

Cat vs. the 4th dimension Part 3 of 3

He ran to someone in uniform. "Mr! Mr!...Lokey! Lokey," said Snoops."Help me! There's this phsyco freak cat from the 4th dimension who does and looks like me!" "That's your reflection, sir." Lokey said. "Oh yeah. I knew that...?" Snoops told Lokey. He said he would remember that there was no 4th dimension. He went back to the mirror and jumped again. "$300?!," said Snoops. "That's just wrong."

Cat vs. the 4th dimension Part 2 of 3

Snoops did simple motions X-Cat did what Snoops did, when Snoops did! Snoops felt like punching himself to destroy X-Cat. But that would also be suicide. He wanted to get rid of X-Cat but not hurt himself in public. He ran to someone in uniform. "Mr! Mr!...Lokey! Lokey," said Snoops. "Help me! There's this phsyco freak cat from the 4th dimension who does and looks like me!" "That's your reflection, sir." Lokey said.

Cat vs. the 4th dimension Part 1 of 3

Snoops K. Itten, was looking for mirrors when he looked in one. He jumped. He walked away. Let's call the cat in the mirror "X-Cat". X- Cat walked where Snoops walked! Snoops walked back.X-Cat was back! Snoops did simple motions X-Cat did what Snoops did, when Snoops did! Snoops felt like punching himself to destroy X-Cat. But that would also be suicide.
To be continued

Taxi cat passes out on the job.

Taxi cat Seth Wingding was driving 4 cats. Lokey, Ozzie, Snoops, and Abbey."Guess my name!" He said, obviously unaware of the name tag taped to the back of his seat. "Seth Wingding!" Said Lokey. Moments later, they missed a turn. "Seth! You missed a turn!" Said Lokey. "You ran a red light!" Lokey looked at him. "Oh no!" "What? Is he unconscious?!" Said Abbey. She, Snoops, and Ozzie laughed. "I hate to break it to you guys, but he is unconscious!" Said Lokey. Silence. "Hoo boy." Said Snoops. Lokey took the wheel. "Guys! Ya know what time it is?" "6:30?" asked Abbey. "No!" Said Lokey! "Sleepover time! At my place!" They stopped at a red light. Lokey crossed out the name on the name tag and put "Lokey". "Thats better!" He said. "Yeah, until he changes his name to 'Lokey' and says 'Guess my name!'" Commented Ozzie. Once they got to Lokey's place, Lokey called 311. "We have an unconscious taxi cat here and his car. Could you take him to the Police station or something? Thanks. Good-bye." Lokey said. "Ok, the cops are gonna be here soon. Take off the blindfold and the duct tape on his mouth." The Kittyville Police showed up and took the taxi cat to the police station.

Aliens Invade Kittyville...Almost

A tourist named Abbey was wandering into Kittyville when she saw a U.F.O! She ran to Snoops' house and reported it to Snoops, who called 911. Police Crowded the spaceship. Aliens came out with what they called "Lightsabers". They looked like cruddy flashlights that only went 1 foot away. They made odd sounds like "voom" and "Ksssshhhh!" "The aliens looked like humans!"
Commented one cat. "They look like the characters from the movie 'Aliens Invade Kittyville!'
Commented another. One cat fainted, tripping one motorcycle rider, who ended up doing some cool moves. (360s) He crashed into the U.F.O. "He is safley in the hospital and healing with flying colors." said Dr. Boogbarg. (Responsible for injured motorcycle rider.) The aliens were just "lightsaber" dueling and not having anything to do with the public. "Why'd ya land HERE?! Next time, land in Dogberg! And make the public work there butts off!" Yelled one cat. One alien choked him. One black-belt cat judo-kicked both aliens. "Fight on your OWN planet!" and he threw them into the spaceship. They flew off immediately. The black-belt was named Ozzie C. At. He got the "I'msobraveIwentupagainstaliens" award.